choose your critic
a tale of two kinds of feedback
As of late December 23rd, another term is in my (grade) books!
With that, I have now crossed over the 100-mark of teaching technical communication sections, having officially taught this course 102 times. It's a good thing I love teaching the materials! (I even wrote a textbook on it)
Each time I teach, I try to change up how I pitch the course content to students. Granted, I partly do this from a selfish desire to keep things interesting for myself, as repeating the exact same lecture materials 3-4 times to different sections can make you seriously question your sanity. (and this term I had 3 of my 4 sections IN THE SAME ROOM, which really tested my misfiring perimenopausal mind)
After 20 years in higher education, I finally feel like I am the same Rebekah at the front of the classroom as I am when casually conversating in the hallways. It feels good.
That being said, being a teacher is a job that I both love and loathe at times.
Parker Palmer is an educator whose work I have long admired, and his work has deeply influenced as a teacher. The words of his book, The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life,1 came into my life at just the right moment.
Reading his teaching insights made me feel seen + understood, which is a rare feeling in the brutal hierarchical world of higher education. In his book, Palmer writes that as educators, “we teach who we are” and that “teaching happens at the dangerous intersection of personal and public life.”
These simple observations have always stayed with me — we teach who we are. Whenever I have a bad day teaching, I’m not able to clock out and detach from that negative classroom experience and simply head home. Whenever my teaching falls flat, I feel like I am falling flat.
If “I teach who I am,” then I often take student critiques of my teaching methods way too personally. Even though I might receive 18 positive comments, it's often the 1 or 2 negative ones that stick with me.
I have a love-hate relationship with these required assessment tools, with an emphasis on the hate. I could share compelling research showing how these course questionnaires can become dumping grounds for students’ abusive comments, or tell a story about a College administrator who once bullied me over some negative feedback I received.
Or I could write a whole post about all the semi-annual emails I send to our campus’s Teaching and Learning Centre, advocating for better support for teachers against the misuse of these instruments (spoiler: I get tolerated but ultimately ignored). But that's not my main point here.
It may have taken me years, but I have finally learned who to listen to and, more importantly, whose voices to ignore.
Many professors struggle with processing (or ignoring) anonymous student comments online, especially those on the infamous 'Rate My Prof' site. Two kinds of students frequent that website: those who loved your teaching approach and those who loathed it. Most of the comments on my profile seemingly come from the latter.
Maybe because I'm embracing middle age, but I no longer want to consider the loud, negative voices as much as I used to. This shift feels like significant progress: if I can choose my mindset, I can also choose the kinds of feedback that will sustain me.
This term, I received both positive and negative feedback. Here’s my two latest comments from my Rate my Prof page:
Rebekah is really biased prof, if she doesn't like you be prepared to be garden lower than anyone else in the class. Her activities are boring, and she makes you participate in them, that make them even worser, if you are not participating grades go down. Her advices useless due to biased grading. Just don't take her if you can, doesn't worth it
and
Feels like if you get a bad mark on one assignment you will find the next one or two marked unreasonably hard too. Boring lectures, find a different prof for this class
Compare this feedback from two end-of-term reflective memos I also received from two students this term:
This term has been demanding yet rewarding. It has pushed me to grow as a student, athlete, coworker, and individual. I have made the most of every opportunity to participate and demonstrate professionalism in this course, and I am proud of my progress. I am deeply grateful for your guidance and encouragement. Your mentorship has been invaluable, and I hope to make you proud as I pursue medical school. Thank you for your support throughout this course.
and
It has been an honor to learn from you, and I truly appreciate your guidance throughout the course. Your final class talk was incredibly emotional for me—it felt like saying goodbye to a beloved family member. You have been more than a Professor; you were a mentor and encourager who inspired me to grow in many aspects of my life. Knowing my classmates appreciated my speech means a lot, and I owe much of that confidence to your support. Thank you again for everything, and I hope to make you proud in the future!
Which feedback should I internalize and remember going forward? Which comments will push me to be a better educator?
The old me would have beaten myself up over the first set of comments, wondering what I could have done differently to win over these negative students — and I would have just glossed over the thoughtful feedback.
The old me would have also done a quick scan of all the students I taught this term, trying to pinpoint who might have left the negative feedback — and I was usually pretty accurate in identifying those students who didn't click with me.
But that’s not who I am anymore. This year of recovery didn’t just help me heal personally; it helped me heal professionally as well.
Just like I’m learning to accept the light and dark parts of who I am, I’m also accepting that I will not win over every student. Or colleague. Or administrator. And that’s okay!
I don’t care anymore — but not in a negative way. I understand my job is to deliver course materials in an engaging and relevant manner. If my approach isn’t for everyone, and someone resists or rejects it, there may be another student for whom my approach resonates.
What’s wild is that I have no idea which students wrote the negative feedback (and I don’t feel the need to spend the energy figuring it out) — but I do know the names and faces of the students who said that my teaching worked for them. Their voices and experiences are what motivates me, especially when I’m stuck working right up until the holiday.
Here’s to focusing more on the positive voices in my life and learning where to place the less constructive ones.
Things that brought me joy this week:
We have officially Christmass’d. Some traditions include a drive through the Enchanted Forest, decorating Eli’s and Gerry’s trees at Kinsman Park, our annual cookie decorating while watching the Happiest Season, gift exchanges, and making Tofurky + cranberry relish sandwiches.
My end-of-term activity got published in the teaching newsletter for the Chronicle of Higher Education! Here’s the article if you don’t have a subscription.
I participated in my first Jolabokaflod! On Christmas Eve, I got three new books to read from a new friend / book elf. What a great tradition! I can’t wait to play it again next year.
Last week my downstairs neighbour and I had a plumbing adventure that brought us unexpectedly closer together. On her Christmas card to me she wrote: “p.s. you are NOT an old lady! You are just someone who enjoys quiet and cozy activities at home. Being loud is overrated anyway” — may she never leave our basement!
It’s hard to believe, but Emma and I will be on our way to Hawaii in a week. I finally feel like a true academic: I will definitely be writing the conference paper on my way to the actual conference.
This year for Christmas Danny and I gave many of our friends emotional support pocket chickens as gifts. Whatever it takes to get us through the upcoming 4 years.
I’m pretty much the last person standing on my BeReal feed. Sometimes it pays to be chronically online? Because here’s my last year, which unfortunately included way too much laptop:
PhDing: let’s talk after Hawaii. Yes, I will be extending my ethics a year.
Watching: the newest Queer Eye (yes, it’s problematic and yes I miss Bobby). Reading: They Never Learn by Layne Fargo. Listening: to my family’s old Avon Christmas tape on Spotify.
Emma and I are off to brave crowds, if only so I can shop at Lush when it’s actually affordable.
Meme of the week:
my rule is that anytime I come across this book at a used book sale, I buy a copy to give to an educator. I have an extra copy!! Let me know if you’d like it.
You’re more mature than I, Rebecca. I would have dismissed the first comment, thinking that any criticism should have been directed to earlier teachers who had left this adult so lacking in spelling, punctuation and proofreading. But that’s just me.
Your reference to an impending Lush visit reminded me of the ONLY time I have been there. It was 7 years ago.
“Got Merin sent off to Man-Sask Swim Meet in Winnipeg and then Shirley and I took Maya shopping. Not having had the fore-sight to bring a book along, I spent my time sitting on a bench reading my phone and people watching. I tagged along on the last stop in the mall at Lush, one of those shops that sell chunks of soap priced somewhat higher than the finest imported cheeses. I stood about looking awkward and out-of-place, amusing myself by smelling samples of the various soaps on display. That was a mistake, as I was quickly accosted by one of the salespeople that swoop in on customers like vultures on roadkill. I explained that I was just waiting for Maya and Shirley to pay for their purchases. At that point the guy asked me which soap I liked. I mumbled something about "the blue pepperminty one". He then asked if I used facial products and moisturizers. Three possible responses came to my mind:
A) "Do I LOOK like a guy who uses facial products and moisturizers?????"
or
B) "Of course I do. I'm 94 years old!"
or
C) "No!"
I wimped out and opted for Answer C)...."No!". At which point the guy goes over and fills a thimble sized sample container of a shower gel for me to take home and try.
My question is "should I be insulted by the gift of a shower gel that goes by the name 'Dirty Springwash'?"
I mean, who would use something called 'Dirty Springwash'? Were they all out of 'Rancid Ditchwater'? or 'Essence of Yellow Snow'?”
Maybe this is a nutty idea, but what about talking about your personal goals as a teacher on the first day of class? Bring up the 'Rate My Prof' site and the wildly divergent opinions and ask the students to help you decrease that gulf.
That first opinion seems to have been written by someone who's either not a native English speaker, or who isn't all that interested in learning (or, frankly, just a crank), so I guess I wouldn't give it all that much credence, but surely, there are some who have actual standards that you're not meeting for whatever reason. Maybe it would be worth putting out feelers on day one as a matter of finding out who seriously cares about learning and what motivates that learning, while not appearing to be just a whiny instructor who wants to be popular.
This, of course, is coming from someone who has never taught a class in his life, so feel free to figuratively slap me upside the head.