"Your restarts matter more than your streaks!"*
allegedly.
On December 18th, I started reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, which includes a daily routine of what she calls “Morning Pages.” The idea is to commit to a daily practice of writing three-pages’ worth of material. Cameron writes that:
Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page...and then do three more pages tomorrow.
I know myself, and how notoriously unreliable I am when it comes to the practice of daily journaling. I will find literally ANY reason not to do it: I hate my handwriting. What if someone finds what I wrote? I’m bored. Do I really think this? I have nothing to write about. Two pages is enough, right?
Well, sure enough. I did great in writing consistently for a week and a half over the holidays, and then fell off. I picked it up again, though as of January 12, 2023, I’ve already missed 3 days’ worth of journaling so far this month.
*The title of this post is taken from the wisdom of my grad-school writing coach, Katy.
"Your restarts matter more than your streaks!"
I’m starting to see the wisdom behind appreciating my re-starts.
This week has really sucked, and as a result, I’ve been in the throes of a pity party (for one) all week. Maybe I got overly confident when it came to how we got through the strain of the holidays? Maybe it’s just the stresses that come along with a new term, compounded with the dark, long nights of January? Regardless, this week has laid me flat.
Mix seasonal sadness, missing people I love, along with the looming work of writing my PhD thesis proposal, and it’s a recipe for one overwhelmed Rebekah.
Human psychology is funny: I get stressed because I’ve been out of my research headspace for too long, so that my anxiety causes me to then avoid getting back into it. The only thing that will make me feel better is to look at (read: re-start) my research. It is such a vicious cycle.
Thankfully, I know I am not the same person I was when I got my Masters. Today I have more experience behind me, more tenacity in owning my voice, as well as more support in my academic corner.
So — today was another re-start day for me. I did my 750 words. I got myself out of the house (I’ve been a hermit since Monday). I did the brave thing, and started re-thinking about my research work that’s ahead.
Just don’t ask me to repeat this all again tomorrow. (jk. I’m back on a streak)
Things that brought me joy this week:
It’s the end of season 17 of Sister Wives, y’all. And this Washington Post article sorta sums up why I’ve been obsessed with this bad TV:
"Maybe what “Sister Wives” was about all along wasn’t the wacky high jinks of an unusual marriage structure, but about what it takes to question whether you’ve grown out of something you thought you believed in. To think seriously about the life you’ve chosen. If you peel away enough layers, even the most shellacked versions of reality stars are just people on a journey, figuring out how to live the lives that will bring joy on the eternal or earthly plains."
(your grrrl may also love watching the schadenfreude of Kody who also looks a little like someone who will not be named)
Today I started another writing group with Thrive PhD. In addition to inspiring the ideas behind this post, Katy’s community-building with Thrive provides a bit of a glimpse into what I’d like to offer struggling, lonely teachers some day. It’s so great — and Katy’s writing wisdom is helping me be a better teacher as well!
Danny and I finally saw Everything Everywhere All at Once on Friday, and I loved it so much that I think I will need to wait at least 5 years before seeing it again. It was that perfect.
Meme of the week:
